from the drprem.com blog – linked HERE
As we age, our behavior changes and so does our thinking. Teenage is no exception. In fact this is the much dreaded phase for parents as they witness their children behaving in an odd manner. This is normal. The teen is dealing with the different changes happening to them mentally as well as physically and trying to understand these changes. Hence they find it difficult to express themselves and relieve the tension. As parents, we sometimes fail to understand this factor and make some mistakes which can be harmful in breaking our bond with our teenaged kid and brew misunderstandings.
The first and foremost thing, every parent must learn is that change is inevitable. They must also change with their kids and not tie them down of being small children and not encourage them to be independent. Compiled below are some common mistakes parents make with a teen.
1. Sowing negative vibes
There are some parents who treat every mistake of their child as a big error and get too much worried in rectifying that mistake. This is a wrong approach as the child keeps losing his confidence and a feeling of helplessness creeps in him/her. Parents nurture negative vibes by pointing even the smallest mistake and not missing it to ignore. This hampers the growth of the teen aged child and he feels defeated already facing the world.
2. Reading too many parenting books and taking too much of advice
Some anxious parents depend too much on books which prescribes tips on parenting. The parents apply these tips on their teenaged kid, but fail to understand that each child is unique and treating a teenager varies from person to person and must be customized. Some books can be useful; but care must be taken to restrict yourself in rigidly following them in unforeseen circumstances.
3. Getting into trivial arguments
Teenage is a phase when kids want to be independent and prove themselves responsible. Some parents do not like the idea and keep nagging their children unnecessarily and blame them for almost everything. For example, they would nag their children who want different hairstyle or clothes or even footwear. The parents make the mistake of insisting their children to follow what the parents want. This is wrong. Understand that the kid is a unique individual who has his/her own likes and dislikes which should be well respected. Making a mountain out of a mole, would lead your child to get distracted from you and hide things.
4. Ignoring big stuff
Some parents make yet another mistake of ignoring big things and not discussing honestly with their teenaged kids. For example, if they find that their kid is in the company of bad friends or has started taking alcohol or smoking, the parents tend to ignore and leave everything on time thinking that the kid would himself understand and he would not like their interference.
5. Being too soft
Some parents do not inculcate discipline in their young ones and pamper them to such an extent that the kid, when becomes a tween, does not care to listen to anyone and becomes spoiled. Parents never think of being hard or rash on their kids and make him unfit for social behavior.
Raising a child is no doubt a daunting experience in itself. It is not quite an easy task. Parents must grow along with their child and must fold and unfold things for him/her. They must understand the teenage phase by recollecting their own teenage days and take corrective actions so that their child becomes a responsible citizen.